Nice People (Even Bosses) Can Finish First

I’ve touched on this implied belief about management in a few posts and thought the time was right to tackle it head on. There seems to be long-held conviction that, as leaders, we have to be strong and tough on our teams to command respect and get the best out of everyone. But is that really true? Do we need to be standoffish task masters to be effective as leaders?

In an earlier entry, I shared my interaction with a successful career coach who strongly advocated that you need to keep personal interactions at a bare minimum while at work. I respectfully disagreed with that approach on general principle and still do. However, we’ve likely all experienced a time when someone – maybe even ourselves – has been promoted into a management role and then acts differently towards those who now report to them.

Of course some changes in behavior are appropriate with a promotion as you have different responsibilities; moreover, and with a tip of the hat to my career coach colleague, I’ve found that being overly familiar or friendly can make those working relationships more challenging. However, that is absolutely not the same thing as being distant or overly hard towards those on your team. Rather, I believe that when you look out for your people and bring their best interests to the foreground, you set everyone up for success. Mind you, that might mean pushing and challenging them but in ways that are intended to help them but you put your people’s needs first (which is a basic tenet of being a servant leader).

This discussion puts me in mind of a friend who badly wanted to be promoted into management. After applying for several positions, they were finally given the opportunity to manage and, unfortunately, promptly made a series of rookie mistakes. These ranged from bringing out the classic “you’ll do this because I’m the boss and I said so” attitude to intentionally increasing the pressure on their new team to perform by shortening deadlines and loading up everyone’s plates pretty much from the get go.

In my opinion my friend made two key mistakes. First, they thought that their position inherently gave them authority. And, on paper at least, it did. But what they failed to grasp was that they needed to earn that authority with their team. Respect rarely come from titles alone and is certainly does not persist if you don’t earn it over time.

Their second mistake is that they fell into the trap of wanting validate that their promotion was a good decision by trying to quickly increase how much their team was accomplishing… but without providing any context to the team or any real consideration for what they were already doing. Not surprisingly, this backfired dramatically when their team rebelled and started complaining to the divisional VP about how they were being treated. In short order, this person who wanted to prove that they were leadership material instead drove the team’s morale – and productivity – into the ground and created a headache for their boss by now having to deal with situation.

Still, these are not uncommon occurrences and are based on the misconception of how a leader will be effective. What we sometimes forget, however, are the lessons we learned when we were the employees and what motivated us. Ask yourself who the best managers were that you either worked for or observed and then think about what made them so effective. In almost every case, I’m going to guess that being closed off and unreasonably demanding probably won’t be how you describe them.

About 10 years ago, a study done at California State University showed that the performance and behavior of teams are enhanced when managers are fair. Moreover, that behavior carried over into “interpersonal citizenship behavior” or how the members of the team interacted with each other. The implications? By fostering a culture of trust and cooperation, we can have long-term positive impact on team effectiveness.

Having said all this and truly believing it, I still want to offer two warnings before I close this post. First, we need to understand that some degree of stress can be healthy and productive. We have to stretch ourselves regularly in order to grow and, as leaders, it often falls to us to push. Just be careful on how you do it.

And second, the unfortunate reality is that most of us still see this other style of authoritarian management as the way to go (it’s a common belief for a reason). As a result, if you do buy into this “be fair to your people” philosophy, it may be to your detriment. Your peers or even your management may look at you as if you’re doing something wrong. Ultimately, we trust that the outcomes and performance of our teams will prove that we are on the right path, but just go in knowing that you may be blazing a new trail and others may be slow to follow you.

Still, know that I’m pulling for you!