Why Before How

It occurred to me recently how effective storytelling is in connecting us to each other. Done well, stories have the ability to convey information in more impactful ways than a simple recitation of facts and figures might otherwise do. This power of storytelling became particularly evident to me through a personal experience I’d like to share.

Let me offer a recent example from my own life. As you may be aware from my earlier posts, my family is one that is touched by special needs. In fact, we have leaned further into this amazing community by becoming involved in inclusive sports leagues and other programs. As a result of this, we’d learned about a communications system that is becoming increasingly popular with families who have loved ones who have difficulties speaking.

There are people who both question and support the system, but from my own perspective, I have seen some remarkable examples of where it’s been put in practice that we felt it’s worth exploring. Time will tell if it will work for us (maybe a topic for a future post). Regardless, what is relevant here is how I’ve described the program to others and the reactions I get based on what approach I use in talking about it.

With some people, they’ve been curious to know the mechanism so they get a run down of the format of the program and the technical application. The “what” and “how” if you will. In general, they seem mildly interested and have wished us well as we dive in. But then there’s the folks who get the story….

With them, I describe what we’ve witnessed as well as what we’ve learned along the way as we were investigating the program. And I will often share a quote from a young man who has put the system into use in his own life and how dramatic an impact it’s had for him. A saw a video where he was asked what he’d like to tell others who are considering learning it. Mind you, this young man cannot speak but, using this new tool, the response he conveyed was short and powerful – “Up until a month ago, I lived my life in silence. Today, I have a voice.”

More than once, I’ve seen people rock back as I share this man’s testimony. The power of it is undeniable, especially when spoken and with my allowing a little emotion seeping through as I was – and still am – moved by what he said. Ironically, telling this in stories conveys little of the “how” but is undeniably about the “why.” And that, I believe, makes all the difference.

If you’re familiar with Simon Sinek, leadership expert and author of “Start With Why,” he talks about this very concept and how it’s one of the most powerful ways for us to connect with others. To share our why before we get into the how or what. By allowing some of our passion to show through, we invite others into a deeper understanding and more emotional connection with us. And once that’s been established, then we can share more about the details of how it all works.

As a marketing consultant, this is a lesson I’ve tried to share with every business I’ve worked with. We can potentially bore people to death with our technical specifications or laundry lists of features, but we can often be far more effective when we share a vision of what a new and better future will be like if we you choose to work with us.

This approach is precisely what I’m working with a client now to implement. They have developed a system to help teachers and school administrators address the very real challenges educators face today with things like student mental health, teacher burnout, and a myriad of other serious issues our school systems are dealing with.

They are hosting an informational event this month, and we were talking about how they should go about their presentation. Knowing their backgrounds, I started talking about them being on a mission and how they want to change the world for the better, and that that might be a good way to start their talk.

Very quickly, the two people presenting began opening up and being very vulnerable in talking about what got them involved in this originally (sadly, suicide had touched both their lives).

Suddenly, this wasn’t just a talk about a new tool that schools could consider deploying. Rather, it was all about bringing together a community of people to support one another. A group of people who have dedicated their lives to educating the next generation, and talking frankly and openly about the crisis we’re experiencing… and to offer a potential way forward to a better tomorrow.

The event took place a few days ago and went very well. Rather than diving in to talk about all the great materials that are in this program they’ve developed, the conversation instead opened with them explaining why they were there and what was motivating them to do this in the first place. But they conveyed it with such honesty and openness that everyone in the room was leaning in.

And that’s really the core theme I wanted to convey in this post. To encourage all of us to leverage the power of sharing why we do what we do. To invites others on the journey with us, and to use storytelling to compliment and reinforce this message of hope and inspiration we have inside. We can show a way to a better tomorrow by letting others see the passion we feel today.

Know that I’m pulling for you.