Let’s start this post with a quick definition of what an “ambivert” is as not everyone may be familiar with the term. An ambivert is a person whose personality has a balance of extrovert and introvert features.
Interestingly, ambiverts are increasingly entering our vocabulary as a number of people identify with aspects of introverts and extroverts at different points in time and/or situations. In fact, if you consider the types of personality as a spectrum rather than as an explicit “all in” label, it suggests that most of us would be considered an ambivert:
I suspect that many of us would agree with that. In my own Myers-Briggs assessment, I was identified as an extrovert. As a child and even into high school, I would have bet money that I was an introvert based on my tendency to remain off by myself. But as I got older and started to come out of my shell, I coined my own phrase of being an “adaptive extrovert” suggesting that I could flex to what the situation required. The concept of an ambivert fits that nicely as there are times when I prefer to be alone or with just a few friends while, at other times, I thrive when I’m in front of a crowd. Perhaps that ability to be described as both types of personality fits you as well.
Next, let’s turn to the challenge of defining introverts and extroverts and touch on which may be better. Interestingly, when I went searching for different definitions, the more I searched, the more differences I found. So much so that I struggled to find a consensus.
Consider introverts. I often came across phrases about being shy or of wanting to be left alone. However, I found I didn’t like or agree with those definitions, at least for most introverts I know. Instead, let me offer a perspective from an instructor of mine from a few years ago.
She acknowledged the stereotype of introverts being the wallflower or of not liking being around people. She challenged us, however, to recognize that some (maybe most) introverts are simply better with smaller groups of people, or even one-on-one. They tend to like others just fine… but it’s best if they can focus their attention on fewer people at any one time. It is absolutely not that they don’t want to be around others but that is the over-simplified perception which, in turn, can make people who see themselves as introverts feel like they need to apologize for not being the center of attention.
I’ve seen it in my own career. I’ve had colleagues who hated the spotlight but who were amazing when working with people individually. Being the focus of the group caused them to wither and withdraw but they were completely different when it was a more personal interaction. I found that I needed introverts on my team – they were integral to our success as they were often the best at being able to find out information and bring people along with what we were doing.
Likewise, extroverts play an important role. They can communicate to wider audiences and disseminate information more quickly as a result. They may instill a sense of energy and purpose into the discussion, and can help lift morale when it might be slipping. Extroverts, likewise, are valuable members of a team.
So, which one is the best? Well, going back to the beginning of this post, I tend to believe most of us have elements of both (remember, we’re ambiverts). As a result, depending on the situation, we can draw upon all of those skills. True, some of us skew more strongly towards one end of the spectrum or the other and will likely feel more comfortable in one role or the other, but as with many things in life, I believe it’s a mix of all of these that work best – as a group or even individually. One set of traits tends to complement the other and, together, can be pretty effective.
Know that I’m pulling for you.
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