I happened to be doing a quick scan of LinkedIn when a post caught my eye. It was a large photo of a smiling – and clearly disabled – young man. Moreover, the post was from his father who said that this was his son Matt who had just turned 25 years old and then went on to share these incredible lessons that his son had taught him. I cannot do the post justice but, if you wish to see it for yourself, you can find it here:
After reading this and, admittedly, being moved by his words, I got to thinking about Matt’s Dad who made the post. He works at a large consulting firm and, like many of us, I imagine that he has a number of colleagues that he knows and who know him. But how many of them truly appreciate the details of what his personal life is like? Some perhaps, but probably not many.
From what was shared in the post, Matt is severely disabled, both physically and mentally. He cannot talk, cannot walk by himself and is unable to attend to most of his own needs. Every day, this family leads a life that is vastly different than most and yet I’d suspect that coworkers, friends, neighbors and maybe even some of their extended family do not have much insight into what that is like or the challenges they have to deal with on a daily basis.
This isn’t meant to make us feel bad about ourselves or to feel pity for this family (in fact, reading this post, you can readily see how this Dad sees his son as a blessing and a positive influence in his life). But there’s still an important reminder here that applies to every person we interact with – namely, that we see only a portion of the complex tapestry that makes up their life.
At work, we see a person’s work self and, perhaps with a select few, some degree their personal worlds as well. At church or the park or in the store, we may recognize some people but, again, it’s probably a superficial interaction with most. But, just as an iceberg has up to 90% of it’s mass below water unseen, the truth is that we cannot know the entirety of another’s life.
What that suggests to me is that we should practice grace with one another. A sleepy colleague might be a new parent and their colicky baby kept them up most of the night. Or a distracted boss could be dealing with a family member’s health issues or thinking about a child who’s gone off to college and is living on their own for the first time. And the grumpy office loner who just wants to be left alone could be dealing with some deep-seated abandonment issues and they’ve chosen to keep people at a distance rather than risk being hurt again (or, possibly, they really are just a jerk :).
My point is that there are depths to each of us that are in constant motion and that we need to be aware of that as we only see a portion of one other. The next time someone acts out of character, remember that you likely don’t know all the facts and use that to temper your approach especially if they are not doing harm to others. At a minimum, pausing before engaging and being open to the possibility that there is more to the story than what may be known can be a helpful mindset to adopt.
If nothing else, seeing this post about Matt was a good reminder for me that we all have our own story and it is rarely as simple or clear-cut as people might imagine.
Whatever your journey is like at the moment, know that I’m pulling for you!
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