Last week, my family lost someone very dear to us after a two-month illness. He had lived a long and rich life and, while we are deeply saddened by his passing, we recognize that there is also much to be thankful for. Friends and relatives are coming forward with heartfelt expressions of sympathy and sharing deeply moving stories of what our family member meant to them.
Not unexpectedly, experiencing the death of someone so close has also reminded many of us of our own mortality. This idea that our days are finite is something we acknowledge but I’ve noticed most of us quickly shying away from the subject. We’ll understandably lose ourselves in our grief or in trying to restore some semblance of order in this new reality. The bottom line is that most of us don’t want to dwell long on the fact that we too shall pass away one day.
I certainly understand why we might tend to avoid pondering our own mortality, but I think doing so robs the deaths of those we love of some of their meaning as well as puts us at risk of living the rest of our days less fully than we otherwise might.
I have always held the belief that life is precious, from the moment we come into being until the time when that last spark of light fades from our eyes. And the simple fact that we have only a finite amount of time here is a big part of what makes life so precious. And yet too many of us – myself included – can get caught up in daily routines and we fall into this trap of existing but not really living.
We watch endless hours of television or Netflix, we surf the Web or post on social media – all of which can be fine in small doses – but if we allow these things to become the most important parts of our existence, then I believe that we are lessened by that. We end up squandering the gift that life truly is.
That’s why the death of someone we care about offers an important lesson that we should never shy away from. Yes, it hurts to lose them but it is the very fact that we are hurting that should remind us that we are also so very alive. And, in being alive, I believe that we have an obligation to ourselves to live each day as meaningfully as we can.
So how do we do that? By being active participants in our lives. We need to intentionally chose to engage in the world around us whether we are doing something big or small… so long as it has meaning. This simple recipe for life gets us involved which, in turn, fuels that sense of purpose. It’s far too easy to slip into auto-pilot mode and then days, weeks and ultimately years pass and we wonder where the time has gone. Life can and should be so much more.
As this loss in our family shows us, death is full of lessons. In the coming days as we celebrate our love one’s life and mourn his passing, I am confident that I’ll hear many stories about how our loved one impacted the lives of others and will learn much about the life they lived beyond what I knew. But his final lesson – that life is precious because it does come to an end – is something that I don’t intend to shy away from. Instead, I hope to use this time to recommit myself to embracing my own life and to being that active participant in in. And if I’m able to do that, them maybe when my own time comes, those who mourn me may be reminded to make their own lives fuller and richer.
Know that I’m pulling for you.
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