For the last few years, I have had the privilege to help coach a basketball league for kids with special needs and we just finished up our season today. As I have been reflecting on our time together, I’ve come to realize just how much my players have taught me about both being a coach and about life in general and I thought it might be fun to share some of those their lessons here.
To respect everyone’s privacy, I’m not going to go into any specifics or name any names but I thought a little background might be helpful. Our players are all between the ages of 8 to 18 and, for some, this is the first time they’ve played an organized sport… while others thrive on this and this is just their winter activity. They may have any number of conditions from autism or Down Syndrome to some sort of physical impairment or anything in between. But none of that matters. What does matter is that they’ve proven to be both great students as well as great teachers.
And here are just some of the things that these kids have taught me:
There are many ways to make a basket
I’ve lost count of the number of inventive ways my players have scored a basket or at least tried to. But every shot that goes in still goes up on the scoreboard even if the path the ball took to get there was unconventional. They showed me to always be clear on my goal and then to be as creative as I need to be in figuring out the best way to get there.
Show your joy and your pain
Some of my players don’t have a lot filters when it comes to hiding their emotions, good or bad. As a result, what many of them are feeling is readily apparent. It can sometimes be pretty raw but it is also so honest. I never have to wonder about what my kids are feeling and that is disarming. They have taught me that being open with each other can really simplify and better our lives since we can then do our best to support one another rather than waste time figuring out how we might appear to others and never ultimately getting what we really need.
Never give up
A week ago, we played an intramural game against another squad and on that team was a little boy who, two years ago, had never played basketball before and wasn’t strong enough to throw the ball even halfway up to the basket. Last week, I watched him run between four of my players, snatch the ball away mid-dribble and then proceed to run down the full court to make the basket (WOW!!). Then, at our final game today, one of my players showed up in a wheelchair after just having had surgery on his hips. He then proceeded to play the entire game (pushed around by his Dad), dribbling and taking shots. I was just amazed. Frankly, I don’t know if I ever possessed the fortitude that these two young men – and all my players – regularly demonstrate but they have all taught me that if you want something, you never, ever give up.
Play to your strengths
Over the course of the season, I saw several of my players pair up on the court in a way that tended to compliment their particular strengths. For example, there is one young man who can really hustle and moved the ball pretty well but his shooting was only so/so. His buddy was a young autistic boy who avoided getting too close to the other players but, the few times he got the ball, typically made around 80 – 90% of his shots. Together, however, they were the dynamic duo with the first boy regularly getting the ball to his pal who then reliably made the basket. These kids knew what they were good at and played to that. And in doing so, they reminded me of the importance to be honest about my own strengths – and weaknesses – and to surround myself with people who could help me fill in my “gaps.”
Rules can be bent
I coach our junior varsity team where we’re learning the game and teaching basic skills. If a NBA referee were present, they’d be constantly blowing their whistle on us. But we tend to be more forgiving at this stage as we try to remain focused on all that is going right versus getting everything right. There will be a time for that – and we’re still careful to call fouls and ensure good conduct – but we want our players to build up their confidence as they build up their skills. Speaking as one raised to follow the rules, my kids have taught me that most rules have a little flex to them… and that’s a good thing.
Give of yourself freely and you’ll get far more in return
One of our coaches was describing what the program meant to him and said, “No matter how bad things get at work or in life, being here with these kids are the best hours of my week.” I couldn’t agree more. When I first signed up to coach, I’ll admit I saw it as my little sacrifice of time for a worthwhile cause. Now, a few years later, I look back and realize that whatever I may have put into this program pales in comparison with what these kids have taught me. They truly are a source of joy and inspiration to me.
And I can’t wait for next season to start.
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